Episode 27: Departure

This episode got mangled a bit because I ran into the Kindle Vella 5000 word maximum limit and I had to cut it to make it fit. The result is a bit lazy and it’s not rhetorically “smooth” the way it should be. I don’t know if other writers care about this (seriously, I don’t) but I really need to feel that what I’m writing could, in theory, be read aloud by someone who is unfamiliar with it, without too many stumbles. That’s what I mean by “smoothness” and this episode is missing some of that, but in most published work the editor hacks it up and this causes “jumps” and “skips” just like a sloppy editing job in audio or video.

I’m proud of how this turned out, on the whole. I’m going to post one more episode and call it a day… probably. I think the story I wanted to tell is complete.

3 thoughts on “Episode 27: Departure

  1. Love the battery story. Actually very realistic and true to life.

    I personally woulda gone nutzo waiting around in that river city. But I reckon he did what comes natcherlly. Been There, did it,
    twice, no thrice, all mistakes with those gals. Stayin Alive sorta.

    I’d write more words, but I type with two fingers. And this month one eye, got a tiny bleed at the optic nerve, should heal in a few weeks, but meanwhile it’s a snow globe filled with swirling blood components and fragments.

    1. I had bleeding inside both eyeballs after a very nasty fall on the ice here in lovely Minnesota. I was walking the dog and slipped and landed on an unimportant body part– my head. The trouble is that when I explain that I could SEE the blood INSIDE my eyes (looked like a black lighting bolt) nobody believes me. Even the doctor looks at me like I’m outta my mind.

      Of course, there might be some other reason for that…

      That was about ten years ago and it’s taken all this time to clear 90% of the “debris.” I still have a lot of floaters that remain as the aftermath of the bleeding. It really interfered with my vison in my right eye for several months.

      I don’t know whey I don’t get much of a response when I explain this. I think most people would just FREAK OUT if this happened, but I didn’t mention it to anybody at the time and what they find impossible to believe is not that it happened, but that I didn’t run up an down the street screaming or something. I mean, it didn’t scare me– but that’s me. I’m a bit weird.

      1. Don’t ignore anything like this in future.

        I was taken to the VA Madison ER, on a Sunday. Yhey called in an Opthamologist, who did a thorough exam. Came back next day for an ultrasound imaging cause they were unable to see the tiny damaged area with blood in the eyeball. Came back again next day to see a Retinal specialist, who sent me home to wait it out. The Madison VA hospital is the best in the country, they don’t fool around. Neither should you my friend. Sounds like you had the same kind of injury. If bad enough can lead quickly to Retinal detachment. Your doctor was an idiot.

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