Sail or No Sail

I’ve been agonizing over the sail question for some time. Use the sails, or not? No sails is the way of the old salts who insist that a fine ship resting upon a giant display stand would not have sails BECAUSE THE WIND WOULD BLOW IT OFF THE STAND.

I mean, fer cryin’ out loud! (said in Popeye voice).

Other luminaries of the miniature floaty things have declared that it might be acceptable to put sails on a stationary ship, as long as the ship is portrayed as being at sea, in the water. Other have suggested that a ship with sails on a pedestal might be acceptable if enough rum is served during the unveiling.

So, we’ll leave our salt-encrusted crew guzzling booze and move right along. I had to decide whether to use the sails or not. This would be easier if the sails were crushed or damaged. But they ain’t.

So after installing the yards, I have to make a decision. Sails or no?

I decided to settle this in the only way acceptable to me and the laws of the sea. Toss a doubloon and see where Davy Jones leads me, AARRR!

Heads–install the sails, lubberly as they are since they’re plastic and the ship will be sitting on a shelf on a stand. Heads, so to speak, will roll.

…and old George Washington himself decrees it, the Golden Hind shall have sails me bucko. May god forgive us!

Brushpainter

Well look, I already told you! I deal with the customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What is wrong with you people?

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