Revell PZL P.11

Right now, I’m upset about one of my usual beefs–s’mores. I know, for a fact, that this “old fashioned treat” was, pretty much, invented by the Hershey chocolate company in the 1980’s, and promoted by them (like crazy) as a way to sell chocolate bars.

I’m really tired of reading about how “everybody grew up eating these at camp” because that is bullshit. People since 1980 grew up eating them because Hershey promted them. They 1) taste bad (way too sweet) 2) rot your teeth (immediately–it’s uncanny) and 3) NEVER WERE POPULAR UNTIL HERSHEY PROMOTED THEM.

If you search the internet for a history of these damn things, you’ll end up with a bunch of bullshit about how the “recipe” was in a Girl Scout Cookbook from 1927. Well, maybe it was, but that proves nothing.

Here’s what proves something. I damn well do not remember EVER hearing of these damn things until well into the 1980’s (maybe the nineties??) and Hershey, then, pushed the product as “old fashioned.” This is pure marketing bullshit. I was a kid. My brother was a scout. I was surrounded by kids who went camping and toasted marshmallows, and at no time–NO TIME–did anybody say one damn word about trying to pile chocolate, graham crackers and boiling lava hot marshmallows together, in the dark, to feed little kids who were disturbingly close to a fire and needed plenty of help just to cook a hotdog or toast a marshmallow. “S’mores” are too f’en complicated to be real.

No. This did not happen. It shouldn’t happen now.

Yes, I do take hypertension medications. Why do you ask?

J. D. Power Awards. ‘Nuff said.

Let’s see, where was I?

I was visiting one of my favorite modeling sites–Modeling Madness — and I read this article — and I learned that Airfix included a pilot figure with their MiG 17 kit.

That’s a good thing.

But my man Scott Van Aken, who is the boss at Modeling Madness (and may very well be, given the amount of hassle involved in running a hobby website, going mad) wrote the following:

Decals are used for instruments, which is fine. A ‘smiling jack’ pilot figure is provided if you wish to use one. There is some belt detail on the two piece ejection seat.

“Smiling Jack?” Why is this level of snark being deployed on this harmless plastic dude? “Smilin’ Jack” was a world-class 1930’s example of sexist, racist, bigoted garbage. It’s hard to imagine that Mr. Van Aken is not trying to throw some shade on Airfix for daring to include a dude when we all know this is for sissies.

I mean, Scott, my man. Why not just mention the pilot figure and shut up? Why add “smiling jack” unless you have a problem painting figures and your frustration is coming out sideways all over this MiG kit, which, I understand, has the wrong shape wings anyway.

No, I did not read that at Britmodeller. I don’t think.

I’ve been asking myself why I do this to myself. While I sit in quarantine and do not go crazy. Mustn’t go crazy…MUSN’T GO CRAZY!!

All work and no play makes Dan a dull boy.

Here’s one of the ass-kickin’ Airfix figures from their Stuka kit.

Die, fascist pig!

I guess the reason I do this is to find my happy place.

My happy place is messy.

…and fun!
Don’t cry for me, Argentina.
…for in the end, I never really left you.
Dammit, Argentina, stop yer cryin’!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

What’s this?

WHAT’S THIS!?!?!?

Well well. Indiana Jones– I mean SMILIN’ JACK!

Brushpainter

Well look, I already told you! I deal with the customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What is wrong with you people?

6 thoughts on “Revell PZL P.11

  • May 17, 2020 at 8:28 am
    Permalink

    Smilin Jack face is perfect, brought a smile to my face.
    I have an old Smiling Jack hardcover book, the joke of course was that Jack never smiled.
    I loved the “Terry and the Pirates” series, and early Steve Canyon. I have an indelible memory of Sunday color comics.. B-29s under attack by Migs and curving streams of tracers filling the sky.

    Reply
  • May 17, 2020 at 8:43 am
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    Never heard of Smilin Jack before. We had Biggles and Commando/War picture library/etc comics, but no Smilin Jack.

    Damn.

    Reply
    • May 17, 2020 at 9:04 am
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      I think that Smilin’ Jack’s obvious “politically incorrect” style was a problem even in the 1950’s! So you have to be pretty old to remember him or “Terry and the Pirates.” As a matter of fact, you have to be pretty old to remember “Steve Canyon” or “Buz Sawyer.” Those were the days–comic strips dedicated to twelve-year-old boys fantasies about south sea island babes and fast airplanes.

      I spent some time on south sea islands with fast airplanes. Hmmmm… I may have taken some of this a bit too seriously, considering how my life turned out!

      Reply
  • May 18, 2020 at 9:55 am
    Permalink

    Anybody remember….
    HAWKAA!!.

    Reply

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