A Novel Approach

Ah Hell.

I recall that some time ago, I mentioned something about writing a novel on my blog. Oh wait. It’s coming back to me like that drunken phone call or that midnight trip to Tijuana…

So here’s a novel. I wrote it. It is NOT, as a matter of obscure fact which nobody gives a damn about, the book I was writing when I went off to the lake to write a Great Book. This is another book, written after I decided to take a break from that book.

Got that?

So, I just uploaded it to this site in PDF form. It’s free. No chargee. Freebs. It isn’t free to steal, you bastards. Steal my work and I’ll come after you with a carnivorous ape on a leash with orders to eat the delicacies first. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, EARTH CREATURES!!

This book just growed after months of going insane trying to write a MAGNUM OPUS and finally realizing that I was just making an asshole out of myself. A bigger one than normal. So I decided to write a more “mainstream” novel and this one duly appeared.

I like it, but my sturdy crew of beta readers seem to hate it. It’s one thing to get the response that it “needs work” or “needs an editor” but this thing got the response like an oily therapist sidling up to you and murmuring something in your ear about the meaning of reading for pleasure.

Darn it, Dan. What is it, anyways? Reading for pleasure, I mean? Does it include this? Really?

For me it does. I wrote a “fun” novel of the type I’d like to read. If you hate it, well, go suck a nut. If you love it, drop me a line. Post a message here and I’ll be sure to reply.

But please don’t tell me to write a different book. This is the book. This is it. It could use some editing, here and there, and maybe a few bits need rewriting–but dammit it’s the book I wanted to write and so here it is. It’s not a hundred-thousand word question asking if you like it. Nobody but a nut-job would write something like that. Nobody wants to learn what somebody FEELS about their writing. If anybody tells you that they want to know how you feel about their writing, it’s not your feels that they are interested in. It’s feeling you… up.

On the other hand, it would be nice to learn if, on the remote chance that you read the book, what you think of it, assuming that you found it to be an acceptable effort and you liked more parts than you hated.

No wait. If you hated it, really hated it, let me know that, too. That’s a real response, if you can explain why you hated it. If you don’t know, or your answer is “that’s just how I feel” then don’t bother.

Please note that the book is currently displaying, with great pride, a nom de plume. A false name. I’m Dan Dunn. There are fifty trillion Dan Dunns and some of them are authors. I had a younger brother who passed away. His name was Tim. If my using his name bothers you, or you just don’t like pseudonyms in general, then you are a person of low quality and you may use that door there. Do not let it strike you in the buttocks as you get your filthy self out of my sight.

Männer. The book’s entitled GRRR. <<<<<Click here to read it and be impressed!

(Note: in order to save everyone some time, I’ll point out that if you found the above funny, then you’ll like GRRR. If it offended you, then you won’t. Probably.)

Brushpainter

Well look, I already told you! I deal with the customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What is wrong with you people?

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