A Cooking Post

Here are some recipes that work really well and you’ll be amazed at how well you can cook. They are listed from easiest to most difficult. Do not put BBQ sauce in the crock pot. It makes a mess and if you think you have to put BBQ on the food while it cooks you’re probably an airbrush user so what are you doing here? We’ll need to question you further down at the station…

Chicken

Get a big crock-pot. Put a chicken in it. Sprinkle it with a little paprika for looks. Let it cook on low for about eight hours. Serve with BBQ sauce on the side. Better yet, serve with cranberry sauce and a mince pie. If anyone doesn’t like cranberry sauce or mince pie just throw them out. Right out in the street. You don’t need their kind.

Ribs

Get a big crock-pot. Put some baby back ribs in it. Let it cook on low for a about eight hours. Serve with BBQ sauce on the side.

Neck Bones

Get a big crock-pot. Put some neck bones in it. Sprinkle with chili powder. Let it cook on low for about eight hours. BBQ sauce optional. This also works for ox-tail. If anyone objects to eating ox-tail, throw them out with the sweety-pies who won’t eat cranberry sauce. Clean house.

Chicken Adobo

Get a big crock-pot. Put some chicken thighs in it. Sprinkle them with a little black pepper and a crushed clove of garlic. Add a half cup of sushi vinegar and a half cup of soy sauce. Let it cook on low for about eight hours. People who won’t eat dark meat get the bum rush with the cranberry/ox-tail snowflakes.

Pot Roast

Get a LEAN shoulder or rump roast. Don’t let the meat-counter millennial talk you into getting super fatty chuck roast (“But sir, chuck roast IS pot roast!”) Brown the roast in a hot frying pan like you were trying to fry it (this splatters hot grease all over). Get a big crock-pot. Put the roast in it. Mix one cup of warm water with a package of brown gravy mix. Stir it up good (this is work) until the gravy mix is dissolved. Dump it over the roast. Now add MORE water. Fill the crock pot with additional water until the roast is covered. Add three or four cut-up carrots if you like carrots. Let it cook on low for about eight hours. After you remove the roast from the crock-pot, you can use the liquid as soup by adding cooked noodles to make beef noodle soup.

P.S. I highly suspicious of anyone who cooks with bay leaves. I’m keeping my eye on them…

 

 

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